dancetemplate

:: An Extension of Ownership ::

As slaves, are you an extension of your Owners - and if so - how would you define that extension?

Are we extensions of our Owners? To a degree, clari would say yes we are. If we misbehave, if we lash out or speak to others in a bad way, we are showing ourselves as not true to what we claim to be, kajira, and we are showing Others that our Masters can not / do not control us very well. If we allow ourselves to react in tongue as we always feel in heart, belly, or let's be honest, a pms induced mindset, we'd simply be tossed from Gor eventually. kajira are not perfect, we don't always *THINK* properly, but we must always *ACT* properly. Not to do so is, in clari's eyes, a poor reflection on our Master's teaching, His ability to "Master" us, etc. we each know our Master, or those in care of us, well, and clari knows when she can scream or whimper or yell, and it's always in private, to her Master. Even then it is not out of childish fit, He will hear her, He will listen, but He certainly will not tolerate a brat who believes herself to be some sort of princess. If He did, would clari want / need to be His? That is doubtful, she needs and craves His control, His power, Him. (okay has clari gone way off point here? hehe).......

What is your essence?

What is clari's essence? Speaking for herself only, she would probably have to say her unconditional love of her Master. It drives her every thought, her every need, her every action and reaction. In dealing with anything, her first question to herself is....would this make Master happy? Would this piss Him off? she has to answer that to herself before she makes a conscious decision. clari would rather die than upset Him. He once looked at her "with a smile that did not reach His eyes" and the extreme coldness of that gesture upset her so deeply that she vomited, was in tears beyond speech. The simple thought that He would look at her in such a manner, that she herself had done something to warrant that, was enough for her. clari needed no whip, no essay (though He has given those out before eeeps). His one look made her never ever want to see that look again for any reason. So her essence, is her need to insure He is happy, and that He never has to look at her again that way.

Where does your desire to be slave come from - and if it isn't there can it be drawn from you?

clari's desire to be a slave? That question is hard to answer, because she isn't sure it was "oh i woke up this morning, think i might try this slave thing"...From the moment she was introduced into it, shown there was a world that provided such a deep sense of release, such a pure awakening of who she was, she did not simply have the desire to be a slave, she was one. A bad one yes, she started out sub, and those are not the same. clari has always been drawn to strength, always looking for the One that would show her the way and allow her to give all she had to give in reality, which is her love, her obedience, her care...she just didn't have a name for it then. So if it comes from anywhere, it is deeply inside her, inborn inside her heart, her being. For others, can it be drawn? clari thinks, and hope this does not upset anyone, than 99.9% of women are naturally submissive, some of us to all Free, some who can and desire to be to One only. she believes that some need to allow themselves to feel that complete safety with just One, to find that One and release inhibitions to Him, even if only to Him. clari is slave to all, she is heart slave to One - Saxus.

Does a slave need training to realize her abilities?

Training is what will keep us from getting a whip on our back or a knife in our belly on Gor! Training is only as good as the girl who receives it. Some can serve with such poetic beauty, that you are looking words up in the dictionary having never realized it was one, but there is no fire in their heart or belly. They are robots of beautiful words. Some can't put two sentances together but shine brighter than most around them because they want to serve, they want to please you, they just haven't gotten the training on how to make it pleasing to the viewer's eyes in fancy wording. Training is very important, some of us trained ourselves, some go to numerous classes and read tons, etc...it's so much more than the beautiful words, it's so much more than painting a picture. Sadly enough, that part is important because in this realm we are what we type most of the time. Perception is the key, how we relay our thoughts, or dreams, our hopes, and our desires to please. However, somewhere, we have to learn....how to act, in conversation, how to respond, how to know when it is proper to chime in, and when it is proper to sit quietly. There are times a Free will ask you a specific question and expect an honest answer. We need training to help us know how to answer in a slave-like manner. Given proper training, a slave can answer any question, whether it is what they wanted to hear or not, and no fault, blame, or disrespect can be found anywhere in that answer. One thing clari needed a lot of help on in early stages was insecurity. she was so insecure, here she was collared to the MOST divine Master on Gor (not biased is she? hehe), One that half the slaves would die for, and she was walking around lost, every moment wondering if He'd rather hold that beauty over there who spun pure magic in her serves, or clari who was fumbling about to breathe normally from fear of the unknown. she had read and worked and practiced while He'd gone away and thought herself ready when He came back into her life, but she wasn't ready to face those who had been on Gor for years and she felt utterly incompetent and unappealing. Do you know who taught her more than anything she'd ever read? anything she'd ever studied and practiced? her Master. He took her face in His hands, looked down at her and said...."I will never let you fall where you can't get back up. Trust Me and remember I am always watching you." It was when clari finally accepted that now matter how she blundered, He still had chosen her, He still loved her, and He'd still be there for her to cry or smile, or simply curl into Him. That is a lesson she needed the most, to trust His words, to believe in His ownership fully.

Can an "independent" slave's judgement, knowledge and skills be pleasing?

clari isn't sure she understands the question fully? If you are asking should we think for ourselves...then the answer is one of those yes/no things to clari. What true Master wants a doormat, a carbon copy mindless little drone? Master asks clari's opinion sometimes, and He wants the real one, even if it isn't where He's heading in thought. Does it mean He will always lean towards her views? Of course not, nor does it mean if He doesn't clari feels she was pushed aside. Has clari ever thought....Master, please listen please You are not seeing it all? Yes, she has, and she has been allowed to say that at times. However, once His decision is made, that is it and she stands behind it 100%. Being His slave does not always mean she will understand what He said, understand what He did, but it does mean supporting His decisions to the very best of her ability. she can have her own thoughts and shares them when He allows, which is usual, but the "independence" stops when He makes the final call.

When do you feel most owned?

Oy vey, when does she feel most owned. This could be a tricky question, one thing came to mind so quickly and yet she isn't sure she should go into that. lol...Master has certain phrases, certain situations that send a rush of fire to clari's belly. The way He handles certain things, even with others, make her shiver and know..she is His slave. The most recent thing to happen, one that even now she is still smiling from ear to ear about is....Master has owned many slaves in His time on Gor. Very many! That is certainly normal and clari has never really been bothered by it since she found herself inside His care. Recently, on February 28, 2003, Master did something that brought the most absolute feeling of love and devotion to Him that she had ever consciously felt in her life. It meant more to her than she could ever express in words, ever. He gave her a new collar {Sax} - one that no other slave has ever worn, one that no other slave will ever again wear. He marked her very heart as something different for Him, someone that was on a level all her own for Him and that is the most sincere expression of His love that she has ever felt. In that moment, she felt more owned and more loved that she had ever before. Does that belittle all she's been granted to that point? she certainly hopes not! The seemingly simple addition of 2 letters took her to a new level inside her heart and belly. Every night clari goes to bed thinking she could not possibly love Him more than she does, and every morning she wakes up and God help her, she loves Him more. The breath that comes from clari's lips, reminds her that she is owned and her heart would be a shattered misery if ever she hurt Him or displeased Him. All she needs, all she wants, is for that Man to be happy, for Him to look at clari and say.....I am pleased. That is her truest happiness. He is her happiness.

author - clarissa{Sax}

property of Saxus