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Submissive Vs. Victim... for the slave :
This article should be written twice.. once for slaves and once for Masters... based on the responses of this article, I may write the other.
I've trained many slaves, and one of the hardest concepts to teach is the fact that a slave is nothing without a Master, that a slave obeys whatever she is told to do, under all circumstances, but then to have the slave respect herself, and understand that she's not JUST property. Herein lies the conflict of slave versus victim.
Deciding where the line between the two is may sound difficult, but once you think about it objectively, it becomes rather simple. If you are obeying a Master, you should have pride in what you're doing and you should desire nothing more than the pleasure and approval of your Master. The other side has the same desire, but a forced motivation, fear. Everyone has what's known as "healthy fear". Healthy Fear is your desire to avoid punishment, or to not be rejected.
The unfortunate side of the mind is that sometimes it goes a step farther. If you look at those healthy motivations, they usually aren't strong enough to make you do something you really don't want to do. When those lines of limits get crossed, and you start finding yourself doing things you don't want to do at all, more than likely you'll find yourself fearing physical harm, or cruel retribution (mental or physical). This is when it has crossed into the stage of victim. You are in the relationship for no reason other than to avoid the punishments, rather than your desire to serve.
In all honesty, this last stage could be caused purely by accident. Many Masters don't realize the feelings of dread they cause, because they don't intend to. This is the part that solidifies the difference between submissive and victim. If you feel this way, that you're being used, or aren't "putting your heart into it", as you feel you should, then you should talk to your Master/Mistress. Explain how you feel, and discuss ways to improve it. Sometimes, this does lead to a change or end in the relationship, but many times it was simply a misunderstanding.
To sum things up, the idea is as primitive and simple as this, "Why?" If you say because you love him and want to please him, that works, but if it's because you don't want to get hit, you need to reconsider things and have a nice long talk. Either way, you will always have friends you can have support you, and there are places to go to find anonymous help as well. The most important part is to take steps to resolve things to make you BOTH happier.
Author - DarkeEdge
Comments welcome at darkeedge@comcast.net
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Does a slave need a Master ::
It seems my last article was
received rather well, but contained only one moment of extreme debate. I had commented that a slave is nothing without a Master, and this is something that could be argued either way. To simplify what I had meant, I shall offer an example.
sarah is a slave, but has no Master. This does not make her worthless, less valuable, or in any
sense unfit, but rather it leaves her potential untapped. By a slave being 'nothing' I mean simply that she is nothing compared to her potential. slaves can serve, and feel the need and desire to please, and quite honestly they can reach a remarkable level of ability, on their own. In my experience, though, a slave, to reach her full ability, and to even pass it, she needs a Master, whether it's a trainer, or their Master, or just someone they care for, that they desire to please beyond all else. In this example, sarah could be equated to any number of pieces of art, whether a statue, or a painting. While unable to serve, there is noone helping to define her, no artist. When she serves a strange Master, one she doesn't know, sarah's form takes it's own life, the Master painting her with generic, broad strokes. This in itself, through the slaves effort to serve many, or well, can define her quite well, but that definition solidifies when One takes ownership of her, whether by gaining her affection, or a ko'lar on her neck, either way hands a finer paintbrush to a more
consistent, caring hand. Pardoning the metaphor, this finishes the painting, filling the small details and irregularities. Through her own serves, and the dedication to her Master, sarah's form is much closer to its completion, and by looking into her eyes, the glow when she serves, the pride of her walk, the way her neck might show the ko'lar, the completeness is self-evident.
Author
- DarkeEdge
Comments
welcome at darkeedge@comcast.net
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